Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm older, and so I'm better.

I remember as both a child and a teenager being constantly preached to respect my elders. It wasn't something I was prone to simply because I was a little douchebag back then. But by the time I'd hit about 10 years old, I'd fallen for the old creed. What could else could I've believed in at 10? I was too busy pouring my life into Pokémon.

I caught over 200 Pokemon. Yup.

But at that age I'd seen the first chink in the seemingly inscrutable armor that being an adult provided. During a trip to Dominican Republic (My "If I wasn't a US citizen, this is what I would tattoo on my arm" country), I stayed with my aunt and her family; two cousins of mine and a very unsavory husband.

He looked like Uncle Fester.

He insulted my last name one night, something I took very personally. uncharacteristically, I grabbed a pillow and launched it at the oil lamp, the only source of light, with the hopes it would set something near him ablaze. It didn't, but it broke the lamp to my satisfaction.


Ever since then I remained privately leery of adults and what they did. I didn't speak up much, but I definitely thought they were prone to fuck-ups more than they'd like to admit to us kids.

It took post-high school for me to realize that adults are only better than children because of their experience, but not necessarily because they're smarter or somehow overall better. This sounds hella disrespectful, but hear me out.

I'll try not to sound like Holden Caulfield

See, ever since I've been thrusted into the adult world, I noticed a few things. Firstly that they're more entrenched in their fucked up issues than teenagers are. Sure, they don't get 3 other adults and call themselves "Bullet for My Valentine" to bitch about it, but they're overall personality is ruled by their issues more so than ours.


Best metal song ever by the way.

I mean come on, how often have you heard your mother bitch about her problems? How often have you seen your father succumb to his psychological issues? Sure, we all have issues, but to sit there and expect us to unflinchingly listen to you despite the fact your judgment gets impaired by your own problems is too much to ask for.

Also, the smugness that comes just from being an individual person for so long leads adults to sometimes believe their actions to be correct, even when they're probably not.

For example, my boss at my job struck up a convo with a tanned short man, who had a strong accent on his English. He has Asian-esque eyes, but it was pretty clear he wasn't actually Asian. Being Hispanic, I could already figure his nationally.

My boss? Not so much.

Man: ...Because you know people from homeland...

Boss lady: Oh! Phillipino?

Man: ...South America.

This, though a gem it was, was not her being an egotistical adult. I actually think of this more as her just being a dumbass white lady.

Filipino are ya?

It's what she said to me afterward that got to me.

Boss: What are you laughing at over there?

Me: You were sooooo off the mark.

Boss: (Rambles about how she worked with Filipinos that looked like him) ...So I know what I'm talking about.

Except she didn't. Her shot was so off target it not only missed, but it ricocheted off a pole and killed a fucking squirrel.

That poor Filipino squirrel.

And she still thought she wasn't wrong for her blind ass assumption.

Look, I'm all for respecting people for their experience, and understanding that they know somethings I perhaps don't, but to ask me to unconditionally respect someone who refuses to admit their wrongs and force me to listen to them is completely stupid.

I'm willing to respect tenure, just not ignorance or arrogance. And adults seem to be full of that, which no one should be. I can't make myself respect anyone like that, be it adult or not.

In summation, I hate your grandma.

I'm kidding. Shit even I find this picture adorable.


  1. I'm sorry man; I can't stand that band. But it mostly has to do with a friend of a friend's annoying obsession over them.

  2. Haha tbh, the new album is wank :( I didn't realise they were known in America!