Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A Letter of Sincere Gratitude

Dear Don Omar,

I want to be just like you when I grow up.

If you don't get your excalibur wielding ass.

There is nothing more I want to emulate in my life than wielding a sword with a mic on it.

No seriously look at it.

yo dawg i herd u lik swordplay and rap.

That is so fucking badass and logically sound considering I'm sure I can talk into the mic while swinging the sword.

yo nigga back off my kingdom

Waiting for awkwardness after saying "nigga" to dissipate...


And we're back.

And it's every young Dominican-kid-who's-been-alienated-by-every-community-he's-ever-been-apart-of-including-the-shitty-ass-Puerto-Rican-community.........

Take a pause.

... boy's dream to be a minority and pretend like they would've accepted me in the medieval era in which they totally wouldn't have quartered me on sight.


I mean like wow how'd you even think of that? That is such a fucking cool and terrific and awesome concept to relate to all the braided Hispanic kids.

YO u herd about Arthur and shit DAT NIGGA WILDIN'

You are my hero of heroes. Maybe, perhaps, my king of kings.

Yours Truly,

P.S. Okay fuck off though there's a mic on the sword I mean what the fuck seriously?

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