Somewhere on the Internet sparked the idea in my head: What would happen if an asteroid larger than the Earth was about to make impact with us? This wouldn't just be the end of our civilization; it would mark the end of life as we know it.
Then I started thinking how we, as humans, would handle it. Would their be widespread panic? Or would we all unify and sing "Cumbiyah" in a last ditch effort to save face? And would we send Bruce Willis into space?
No this is not an "Armageddon" reference. I want to punish him for making "Cop Out".
I think at first I would react rather panicked. Immediately though, I realized I'd need to up and get the hell out of here. Looting would be rampant; end of the world means everyday routines stop mattering, which means money would probably stop being circulated, which means everyone would steal shit. Especially around here.
Then I'd just make an effort to make my final days on Earth the greatest days of my, and anyone else who tags along, life. Walking aimlessly in the hopes of enjoying the world. It would be like the pilgrimages to the Summer of Love at San Fransico in 1967; a pilgrimage filled with peace, joy, and obnoxious smelly teenagers.
And with less drugs. Way less drugs.
Lil' Wayne has Four Babies.
By four different women.
I understand that Lil' Wayne's, like, a rapper, but how does that make a guy who's 5'5'' and looks like Aunt Jemima's lesbian daughter attractive? Much less attractive enough to allow him to dump his awful sperm inside of them?
This is the part where bitches clamor for his seed.
But let's not degrade Lil' Wayne. Clearly, he didn't rape four women. They chose to be dumpsters.
Well, who are the trash cans?
Antonia "Toya" Carter, with whom Wayne had a baby with when they were both in high school, Wayne being just 15.
Another baby in 2008, who's mother is unidentified.
And two babies in 2009 who were born 2 months apart from one another; The first by a girl named Lauren London, who is an actress, model, and video ho, and the other by Nivea, a musical "artist".
The thing that upsets me about all this is that it kind of perpetuates stereotypes about black people and artists. Promiscuous and unprotected sex galore in the hip-hop scene, baby-making like rabbits, Lil' Wayne not playing an active father role in any of their lives. It's irritating. There's few things I honestly despise in the world, and one of them is when people fulfill the stereotypes they're socially stigmatized by.
Even more ironic is that Lil' Wayne's own father wasn't in his life. So not only is he perpetuating the urban stereotype of being born fatherless, but he's, four times over, reenacting his own father's mistakes.
But it's alright. You keep smoking weed and having court trials. No wait! Shit! Stop!