Monday, March 29, 2010

things that should go away immediately

1. girls who try soooo hard to be "one of the guys." no. you're not. you have a vagina. i'm sorry. and those guys you are so proud of hanging out with, the ones you're referring to the countless times you proudly declare "i don't have girl friends. i hang out with all guys. they're just easier"---those guys; they don't think you're cool or funny or different from other girls. they really dont care. you're just a backup f*** in case there's no one else available.

2. people on the bus/train who hold loud conversations just so everyone can hear how witty and clever they are. seriously. no one thinks your constant use of phrases like "Epic Fail" and "FML" are clever. they just want to throw you into oncoming traffic.

3. people who sigh dramatically loud in public to garner sympathy or attention. nobody cares. go away.

4. The "Twilight" kids.

5. that really depressing guy on BBC news this morning. when i first wake up in the morning i dont wanna hear things like "Will Obama's string of victories continue, or will the sheer weight of the American political system send him crashing back down to earth?" actually....that was pretty funny. he can stay.

6. guys who seem to be incapable of pulling off a hoody over their heads without having their shirt underneath lift up to the point where we can all see your nipples. STOP THAT! its not sexy. you just end up looking like an inept chimp, all tangled in masses of fabric with no way out.

7. girls who are pms-ing and decide to write angry blogs to exercise themselves of all the malicious energy. *cough cough*

8. the use of *cough cough*

9. girls who buy clothes that are outrageously smaller than what their actual size is, and then have to constantly adjust themselves; pulling and tucking things in and stretching the fabric. why are you torturing that poor shirt? its not its fault you're a trollop. BUY YOUR OWN SIZE and leave the smalls and mediums for us girls that are actually small and medium! im tired of swimming in your rejected larges and XXL's.

10. the term "sexting." people over 40 think they're so clever when they throw that word around. you can see it in their eyes. that old person pride. F*** you Doctor Phil.

11. That formspring thing on Facebook. as if facebook and twitter and blogs werent enough for our attention starved generation. its not enough that random people can follow your life through your incessant posting of your every jamba juice run and bowel movement? you need to add to that an open forum? we get it. you exist, now shut up already.

more to come. maybe

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