The Bomber's Dozen July 26th-31st: The Tasty Six.

The Bomber's Dozen is a weekend two-part...thing that features 12 pieces of hilariously useless news and one serious piece of incendiary commentary which will likely get me sued.

As if our rampant use of Hitler photos shouldn't.

Bon appetit.

1. Justin Bieber eats candy before going on stage.

Subsequently, no one cares.

What is more interesting here is Justin Bieber's ridiculous road crew:

"Amazingly Justin, his road crew, musicians, dancers and anyone else connected to the tour get through 10,000 French fries each day and 75 Starbucks drinks.

And a mammoth amount of equipment and instruments are used to stage each show, including 30 miles of electrical cable, 20 rolls of electrical tape ' the equivalent of 3,330ft ' 20 guitars, 14 drum sticks and 10 disco balls for the set.

It takes 11 buses to transport all the personnel and over 500 cases are used to store the tour gear."

Like a CD player isn't enough.

2. U2's producer 'lucky' to survive bike crash.

I can feel my ears sighing.

I have an antagonized dislike for U2. I never thought they were as prolific as their success seemed, and the fact that they're so venerated by the musical world plays cheerleader to my angst.

Gimme a U! Gimme a 2! What does that spell? Baaarreeellly mediocre!

3. Kanye West is popular.

Dear "Music News",

No this isn't.

4. MATT BELLAMY AND KATE HUDSON ARE HOUSE HUNTING?!!

I was not informed of this relationship! I completely disapprove! How was I not told of this???

Because you're not gay...Right?

Ugh, and he met Goldie Hawn (Kate's mother)!

'It's a little bit too soon to talk about weddings and stuff. Ask me in a few months though. I'll let you know how it goes with Goldie - and then who knows?'

These two worlds should have never collided.

5. M.I.A. vivisects Gaga like an assassin.

"[Winfrey] made this huge speech at the ball praising Lady GaGa about how she is helping Americans to be the best of themselves," MIA explained. "There's millions of other Americans who represent that for me. Is [it] about numbers? About how much you're selling? Is it truly about the journey? Because [Lady GaGa's] journey isn't that difficult: to go from the fucking Upper East Side to a fucking performing arts school and onto a stage at the museum of fucking wherever.

That journey's about four miles."

Bravo.

6. Katy Perry with moldbusting commentary

"My parents were really strict at first, because they didn't want me to turn out like a prostitute."

Not that I would've guessed.