Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Starbucks Ramblings

When I manage to feel like writing for hours on end, I take a memo pad and scribble down my spontaneous reactions to the little world surrounding me as I go out. These are the best of the resulting ramblings. This one is during a personal trip to Starbucks.

Mmm Starbucks. The hangout spot for everyone who wants to appear the slightest bit intellectual. Scene kids, lonely adults, introspective introverts; seems like everyone who frequents it has something to prove. Myself included, of course.

I like this particular one, though. The staff's pretty charming as they host a book club, and, my favorite, they even have words of the day! Today's (Or 4 days ago; they're affably terribly at updating it) is "scintilla". Following that on the small chalkboard is its definition in quotes reading "A tiny amount" and "Use it in a sentence!". A little arrow curving towards it leads adorably to "...or try our bold iced coffee!" I just wanna hug all of 'em.

Ironically, someone near the little condiments island is on "Pirate Bay". Funny that this capitalist ass coffee haven plays Internet host to an infamous downloading website. Then again, here I sit with a Sex Pistols shirt and a copy of "1984".

I aaaam the aaaantiichriiisssssstah!

I come here for the staff, I swear!

Okay, the "Pirate Bay" guy keeps gawking at this teenage girl with rape-like intensity. Every time she passes by, he gives her a scanning 3 times over. Bald, wide, head like a fat jellybean; I'm convinced he's a wife-killer.

Or Butterbean.

I imagine this isn't the first time anyone's dissected this, but it truly is amazing when customers and staff rattle off a customized order.

"Soy mocha no whip double chocolate chip!"

Sounds like obscure colors from a Crayola box. Maybe I'm fascinated because I sound like a monkey mid-stroke when I order.

Hi can I have the uh...tall...blended creme...vanilla...can you just fucking give me milk and sugar?

Unkowingly, I objectify hot girls. I mean, besides the sexual part. Given the right mood, I like to see how people react to them; both guys and women alike. I never care, though, what the hot girls themselves do. It's just that something stupid and hilarious always happens in their vicinity. This dorky lesbian staffer's face when she had to hand them their order was just such a wonderful example. She looked like she ate a lemon while someone kicked her dog in the liver.

There's this other hot 20's-esque chick here and the wife-killer hasn't given her a glance! He's been upgraded to pedo-murderer. I have not a scintilla of doubt.

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